Lifetime of Love (sestina)

In your eyes and arms I always feel loved.

We may seldom each lose tempers sometime,

But above all, you let me live and laugh

Through moments when my heart would surely break.

Do I think, believe, know I love you? Yes.

I swear I will, always and forever.

Always have we been friends, on forever;

I hope you feel more loved than I feel. Loved?

As always, so confident, you say yes;

But how can I be sure? You're not sometime...

Is your heart full of love about to break?

How am I to tell if you always laugh?

O I love your eyes and smile when you laugh,

Please never stop, smile and laugh forever;

The stiff oppressive silences you break

With the ringing music I always loved

Since friends only were we ... Propose sometime?

So I, in your arms and eyes, may say yes?

Oh how I have oft dreamed of saying yes...

But for the moment I can't dream or laugh,

For we need to be serious sometime,

If we want to be as one forever,

So that we can make each other feel loved.

In love, we cannot then the silence break.

When anew we as one, morning will break,

My dreams fulfilled: to you I have said yes,

Vowed and promised you will always be loved.

Our tears cascade, trickle, come from the laugh,

The laugh echoes in our hearts forever...

Reason says we might forget it sometime,

For we both know that love too fades sometime.

Together through this fading we will break,

We vowed and promised our love forever,

Remember a wedding? We promised yes,

Sealed it night and morning break with a laugh,

Promised to make one another feel loved.

Seasoned, sometimes we forget we said yes,

But you must break the lull of old age - laugh

For I'll forever let you know you're loved.

Monday, October 18

Frustration rising to a rolling boil

bubbling under the surface of the perfect student

scalding steam escapes through exasperated sighs

tap tap tapping fingers... biting lips, click click clicking pens

seemingly omniscient teacher: the cause of my discomfort

the bane of my existence, the dreary overcast sky over my perfect day.

monotone monologues, lectures, disrespect and condescension

insipid and devoid of all interest, lethargic contemplation

and musing: just how incompetent does he think I am?

am I to be subdued, repressed, like this and just accept it?

will there really be no repercussions for his actions?

how much will everyone care if he were to... disappear...

rejoice we would, rejoice we would...

his cruel subjugation of me continues

I snap out of my reverie

the minute hand moves to the fated hour

I walk away, escaping once more

only to return again

unable to stay away

I return once more

Persistence

Oh, small buddign blade, so verdant, lively and green;

You trudge along, during the harsh, bleak, unforgiving winter,

Working your way up through the cold crumbling dirt and

The entangled webs of roots below the withering tree.

You fight the icy blasts of rain and unrelenting wind

While others, looking just like you, will begin to grow during spring showers,

Under the warming sun, among blooming showers,

Stretching beneath the softly-caressing winds, among young saplings

Whose roots do not impede their ascension

And giants will not trample over them as they grow.

But they are not you, oh small budding blade, for they take the easy way out:

Budding at conventional times and then withering before the autumnal parade of colors,

Never to see the first snowflake float down through the sky.

You, little blade, too eager to wait; you grow now

Before all the others, among the fallen autumn leaves, before the snow falls.

All alone, bold and brave, by your own accord,

You fight for your life and the chance to live it;

And there you are, a mere inch above the limits of the ground,

So verdant, lively, and green.

Trudge along,

Trudge along,

Trudge along.

Sonnet 004

Only five days left until he arrives

The little boy I knew so well before

Only four days left until the big surprise

Now a man, it is I who he adores.

Slowly the hours go by, I am patient

Not frantic, not queasy, but excited

To see the boy to whom my heart I lent

And then we will once again be parted.

I struggle to think straight, only three days

Until we meet again, star-crossed lovers...

Two years since I last saw him, two days,

Here he'll be, impatience I discovered.

But faithfully I await, just one day,

Hours pass, here he comes and there he goes.

Undated and Un-named

the passerby's and the silhouettes

the shadows- paintings in the sky

they move, they dance, il baile d'amore on weightless wings

the vibrant hues and the leaves in the wind

the clouds- all colors in the sky

floating, falling, feeling, flowing, and those crazy things:

smells and sights dancing in the sky

invisible music resounds

raindrops sway in the breeze

gently dropping to the ground

Pink Petals

cherry blossoms petals floating to the ground

around you, as you stand beneath the tree,

your eyes twinkling, your smile widening

watching me, you say exactly what you feel:

speaking tender words of love, you hold me,

whispering in my ear as the petals float,

gently floating down, the cherry blossoms fall

Monday Morning

My eyes forced open once more

by the rising sun...

d r a g g i n g myself out of bed,

why has it come once again?

Slip into a shirt, slither into jeans,

can hardly stay awake for

I stayed up late

thinking of you

my eyes close one me,

my thoughts unclear,

I need to sleep

but monday morning is here

The Damned Disease (Part 5.... took me some time to finish...)

A monster, an unfeeling cruel abomination of all that is good and pure in this world. I am darkness, cold eternal damnation. I am the very thing I have feared. Loathed. Detested. I am cursed, damned to hell. I am neither here nor there, I belong to no one, I belong to nowhere. My heart is as frigid as the north, as empty as the south. It is as black as coal, crumbling under the weight of regret, grief, and pain. I feel the disease stabbing at my brain, my eyes burn and my chest aches. Part of me wants to lay myself down upon the ground and resign myself to the beast, feel the poison burn my blood, just give up, give in, the battle is lost. Yes... but the war is far from over. I will not give up! I will not give in! I will fight! With every staggered breath, I will hold out. The disease will not take me. Do you hear me? You can not have me! For now I am whole, strong, resistant. But for how long.... I am only human, we all die in the end. When is my end? Tomorrow? I fear I do not know the answer but while my burning lungs draw in another precious breath I turn to the sky. A smile, sickly sweet. You can not have me today, today I fight! Today I live, disease free.