Everything is always fine before anything changes, and her arrival changed everything. As soon as she stepped off that plane I wasn't happy anymore, I was scrutinized and made to suffer those little snide underhanded comments. Grandmothers are supposed to give you extra love and bend the rules for you but all I hear is....
Too skinny, not eating enough, eating too much, you don't eat that like that, showering too long, singing too loud, straightening that hair incorrectly, sleeping too much, cooking that wrong, burning this, not cooked enough, can't walk barefoot, wearing the wrong shoes, sit up straight, wear some make-up, god not like that, watching too much tv, do something constructive, watch something "better," don't listen to that kind of music, don't dance like that, don't eat so fast, why do you eat so slow, talk to me more, I don't feel like talking, go to sleep, stay up and listen to me talk to you....
It's been less than 48 hours, how can she be this way? I can't do anything right, then when I try to fix it I do it incorrectly and I get in trouble. She was here when I came home yesterday, that's right, I told her and she shot me down. Now I'm stuck at home, should be at a graduation party, after spending three hours at graduation practice I wish I could unwind but all I get is more instructions and orders. Do this, stay here, make dinner, don't talk to me....
Yet this is all so much better than being in the car with dear daddy all day. He's been giving me the silent treatment, I prefer it, it's better this way. This way I'm alone in the house, surrounded by siblings, without him.
I wish I could see you, I need you now, I need the one person who could make this better
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Cricket
I am a cricket, a small green cricket,
caught by an eager young child not yet mature,
in the heat of the summer sunset,
I've been placed in a small brown shoebox.
I cannot find the holes to breathe,
the river's tent stands tall and proud.
caught by an eager young child not yet mature,
in the heat of the summer sunset,
I've been placed in a small brown shoebox.
I cannot find the holes to breathe,
the river's tent stands tall and proud.
Toil and travail are worth my time
for I find my way from captivity
and breathe the sweet air of freedom
as amber breezes caress my face.
I am a cricket, a small green cricket.
for I find my way from captivity
and breathe the sweet air of freedom
as amber breezes caress my face.
I am a cricket, a small green cricket.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
WHY???
Why did our paths cross once again? I did not wish it so,
I would have been more than content had we remained apart,
distant, disconnected, without communication, uninvolved.
I am happy now and do not want to review the past.
I do not want to relive it or cherish the memory in my mind,
honestly, I do not wish to return there.
But you reappear over and over again, back into my life
you pry and wriggle yourself in, pushing me and pushing me
to talk to you again. I settle and talk openly.
You leave, your intentions unclear, and I'm left regretting
having said hello to the person beside you. I did not want
to talk to you, I did not want to open myself and look back at the past,
I did not want to relive the coy things I may have said,
I did not want to sit there and have you harass me, yes, harass me
verbally about what I'm doing now, it's my love-life, my social-life,
my school-life. You know, it's my life, shut up and leave me alone.
I don't judge yours. I did not want to have all those conversations.
I purposely ignore you, yes it's true, I've been ignoring you
for almost a year and to tell the truth it's worked pretty well so far.
Until now, why? Why do you insist on remaining a part of my life?
Do you not get it? I ignore you, you talk to me and I don't answer.
You attempt contact and I reject you, you attempt again and
months pass. Months, don't you get it?
I don't want you in my life and I can't make it clear.
Why can't I make it clear, you know why? Because you start
asking questions and I answer, foolishly, and the conversation
is always about the past. Then the obligatory questions of the now
followed inevitably by questions and stories of the future.
You pry, pry, pry into my life; I do not want you to, I don't ask
about you but you tell anyways. Leave me be? No? Why?
Because you seem to still think I'm interested.
You are interested, you are, I know it. Why don't you let it go?
You were with her for a year, didn't touch her once, and brag about it.
Yet you wish you had, you said so, you wanted it.
We both denied you. Doesn't feel good, does it?
But you don't care cause I know you've been quite busy,
going around, whether anonymously or openly, I don't care.
I didn't want to hear it, you just wouldn't shut up. You still won't.
Now, not only do you seek me out but you hold
something against him. He did nothing to you, he never hurt you
or spoke to you. Leave him the hell alone, seriously, leave him be.
What on earth do you have against him?
He only received what you were denied, what you left behind,
what you forsook when you ripped my heart,
you didn't think about that, did you?
You didn't think about that in the heat of August, your loss.
Your loss, I'm glad you didn't gain it.
I'd regret everything in that case.
You were never right and you never will be.
Stay out of my life.
I would have been more than content had we remained apart,
distant, disconnected, without communication, uninvolved.
I am happy now and do not want to review the past.
I do not want to relive it or cherish the memory in my mind,
honestly, I do not wish to return there.
But you reappear over and over again, back into my life
you pry and wriggle yourself in, pushing me and pushing me
to talk to you again. I settle and talk openly.
You leave, your intentions unclear, and I'm left regretting
having said hello to the person beside you. I did not want
to talk to you, I did not want to open myself and look back at the past,
I did not want to relive the coy things I may have said,
I did not want to sit there and have you harass me, yes, harass me
verbally about what I'm doing now, it's my love-life, my social-life,
my school-life. You know, it's my life, shut up and leave me alone.
I don't judge yours. I did not want to have all those conversations.
I purposely ignore you, yes it's true, I've been ignoring you
for almost a year and to tell the truth it's worked pretty well so far.
Until now, why? Why do you insist on remaining a part of my life?
Do you not get it? I ignore you, you talk to me and I don't answer.
You attempt contact and I reject you, you attempt again and
months pass. Months, don't you get it?
I don't want you in my life and I can't make it clear.
Why can't I make it clear, you know why? Because you start
asking questions and I answer, foolishly, and the conversation
is always about the past. Then the obligatory questions of the now
followed inevitably by questions and stories of the future.
You pry, pry, pry into my life; I do not want you to, I don't ask
about you but you tell anyways. Leave me be? No? Why?
Because you seem to still think I'm interested.
You are interested, you are, I know it. Why don't you let it go?
You were with her for a year, didn't touch her once, and brag about it.
Yet you wish you had, you said so, you wanted it.
We both denied you. Doesn't feel good, does it?
But you don't care cause I know you've been quite busy,
going around, whether anonymously or openly, I don't care.
I didn't want to hear it, you just wouldn't shut up. You still won't.
Now, not only do you seek me out but you hold
something against him. He did nothing to you, he never hurt you
or spoke to you. Leave him the hell alone, seriously, leave him be.
What on earth do you have against him?
He only received what you were denied, what you left behind,
what you forsook when you ripped my heart,
you didn't think about that, did you?
You didn't think about that in the heat of August, your loss.
Your loss, I'm glad you didn't gain it.
I'd regret everything in that case.
You were never right and you never will be.
Stay out of my life.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Musings, daydreams, things
I'm not sure why
I knew that then.
Call it
Whatever it was,
my mind
from fear and
uncertainty;
veered from hurt
and bitterness
the likely idea
that, away from
home, my
might
blossom with
I knew that then.
Call it
intuition.
Whatever it was,
my mind
swayed
from fear and
uncertainty;
my heart
veered from hurt
and bitterness
toward
the likely idea
that, away from
home, my
future
might
blossom with
hope.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Real Love
Real Love .... what is it? What isn't it?
Does it know the truth hiding behind the facades and lies that surround the world, like the smog ruining our lives?
Can Love rejoice in fleeting glances, brief exchanges of sweet nothings?
Does it smell that natural scent that haunts dreams and overpowers waking moments?
Can Love feel the whirlwind emotions, complex, confusing, blinding, exciting?
Does it see.... You know what, I'm done questioning
Real love isn't blind. It sees, sees everything but loves anyway.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
New Quote ... I really liked it
Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I don't really care for thinking up a title
Why does the story always end like this?
You're both tense, worried, stressed, tired, etc, whatever
WE KNOW, yeah we know, don't think we don't
we notice when you lash out at us but then,
then you reprimand each other for lashing out at us,
and then what happens? you both go quiet.
You make fun of her parents.
You defend yourself and your parents.
Then someone does a silly thing that affects no-one
for example: mommy pours ketchup on scrambled eggs,
daddy picks a fight over that, why????????
he says the little boy is old enough to ask first,
is he so spoiled that he cannot eat eggs without ketchup?
then it all goes downhill.
Eating habits are questioned, spiteful remarks spat out
family offended, feelings hurt,
someone storms out of the room.
Wait, where do we fit in?
Oh that's right, we're sitting there, quietly eating.
I am trying not to cry, my sister is eating
feigning a smile, my brother refuses to eat,
tonight he is not hungry and so mommy tries to get him to swallow
but she is still angry. She lashes out with her temper
she raises her voice, she threatens to take away tv privileges.
in his room daddy turns the tv up louder and louder,
laughing too hard, too loud, and too long.
I sit, trying not to cry, eat my food, clean the kitchen,
help until my siblings are clear of both tempers, then
then I hide in my room.
Under blankets and hugging my moose, I hear it all
the overcompensation efforts to seem strong on both sides,
the louder and louder clanking of pots and dishes in the kitchen,
the louder and louder volume of the tv in the master bedroom.
Half an hour, everything quiet now, I venture outside my cocoon
everyone feigning,like nothing happened
but feelings are hurt, egos deflated a bit,
nothing is really alright. I can see it,
in your actions, your words, your sullen silences.
Until you make-up, until you talk through it,
until the next time.
You're both tense, worried, stressed, tired, etc, whatever
WE KNOW, yeah we know, don't think we don't
we notice when you lash out at us but then,
then you reprimand each other for lashing out at us,
and then what happens? you both go quiet.
You make fun of her parents.
You defend yourself and your parents.
Then someone does a silly thing that affects no-one
for example: mommy pours ketchup on scrambled eggs,
daddy picks a fight over that, why????????
he says the little boy is old enough to ask first,
is he so spoiled that he cannot eat eggs without ketchup?
then it all goes downhill.
Eating habits are questioned, spiteful remarks spat out
family offended, feelings hurt,
someone storms out of the room.
Wait, where do we fit in?
Oh that's right, we're sitting there, quietly eating.
I am trying not to cry, my sister is eating
feigning a smile, my brother refuses to eat,
tonight he is not hungry and so mommy tries to get him to swallow
but she is still angry. She lashes out with her temper
she raises her voice, she threatens to take away tv privileges.
in his room daddy turns the tv up louder and louder,
laughing too hard, too loud, and too long.
I sit, trying not to cry, eat my food, clean the kitchen,
help until my siblings are clear of both tempers, then
then I hide in my room.
Under blankets and hugging my moose, I hear it all
the overcompensation efforts to seem strong on both sides,
the louder and louder clanking of pots and dishes in the kitchen,
the louder and louder volume of the tv in the master bedroom.
Half an hour, everything quiet now, I venture outside my cocoon
everyone feigning,like nothing happened
but feelings are hurt, egos deflated a bit,
nothing is really alright. I can see it,
in your actions, your words, your sullen silences.
Until you make-up, until you talk through it,
until the next time.
Monday, December 28, 2009
My oasis
The dinner affair has been taken care of.
Two college applications 89 percent complete.
The beginning stages of "goodbyes" have begun.
I am ready to escape.
I gently hug my plush moose to my heaving chest,
I prop open Conrad's Heart of Darkness on my lap,
I lose myself in the heart of Africa and the search for ivory
while my fingers get lost caressing my moose.
Utterly lost in the swirl of Marlow's stories
and in the comforting warmth of my moose, I escape
everything: worries and pain are but alien words now.
Coming to the little tuft of hair on top of his head,
just between his horns and his little ears,
I am brought out of my literary reverie
and to the sweet memory of the meaning behind my little plush moose.
The day you gave it to me, how happy I was,
oh how I love this moose, it reminds me of you,
my little moose comforts me like you do.
I lose track of time, forget my worries,
I smile, lost in my oasis.
Two college applications 89 percent complete.
The beginning stages of "goodbyes" have begun.
I am ready to escape.
I gently hug my plush moose to my heaving chest,
I prop open Conrad's Heart of Darkness on my lap,
I lose myself in the heart of Africa and the search for ivory
while my fingers get lost caressing my moose.
Utterly lost in the swirl of Marlow's stories
and in the comforting warmth of my moose, I escape
everything: worries and pain are but alien words now.
Coming to the little tuft of hair on top of his head,
just between his horns and his little ears,
I am brought out of my literary reverie
and to the sweet memory of the meaning behind my little plush moose.
The day you gave it to me, how happy I was,
oh how I love this moose, it reminds me of you,
my little moose comforts me like you do.
I lose track of time, forget my worries,
I smile, lost in my oasis.
Mrwrwrwrwrwrwrwr
My quietly observant, strict Roman Catholic, conservative, celiac grandmother sweetly sits next to me on my bed,
only a few moments ago, to begin saying her goodbyes.
She tells me to take care of myself, wishes me luck,
mentions that she may not be here for my graduation,
slips in a slight about a pretty prom dress, preferably red,
and burdens my conscience.
She begins to tell me all her worries about my mother:
she's getting too thin, she look emaciated sometimes you know?
she stresses out too much,
have you seen her skin? she might have arthritis.
My father: he's gained so much weight, his attitude towards help,
he needs to get some help, his anxiety,
you know there exists an AA type thing for obesity,
he refuses help and you know,
your mother got real sullen about this subject too.
Not just about his weight, I know there is more stress
that has nothing to do with you going off to college,
he needs help, sweetie, you know?
My brother: he spends absolutely too much time playing those ....
those games, his hands appear permanently holding a console,
he's gonna have social issues in school, you'll see.
She fails to mention my sister, and looks at me sideways ...
she says she doesn't really know how things are these days between young kids,
boyfriends and girlfriends, but if I'm to have "relations" .... she blushes ...
you know, I should just be careful not just with pregnancy but ...
she goes quiet and shuffles her feet, you know, with diseases.
Um apparently this is a really personal decision to make and she feels she is not one to preach or give anyone advice on when is the "best" time, but ...
you know, just be careful, honey.
She hugs me, unsmiling now, but not quite frowning.
She is pleased with her first goodbye, but I know more is yet to come.
I am left sitting alone on my bed with all her worries mixed with my own.
My own worries heightened by hers and her prodding,
her simple "you know?"s, god enough!!!
I think about all of this without you telling me,
I don't need to hear this from your point of view.
Now I'm overflowing with too much emotion, half of it not even my own.
Music is quietly playing, I wish it were blasting but it has to be subdued.
Why? Because "the show" is on and no one likes "my" music.
So I am left to stew in my thoughts ....
I'd like to go running right now, but it's too dark and too cold.
So I settle for quiet music and literally turning my back on my family while they eat and talk and smile those fake smiles because they all worry about each other and no one says anything to the person they SHOULD be talking to. No, they come to me and spill their worries like sand escaping through fingers.
And I am left coming here, to enjoy the beautiful sound of the clanking keys so fast and furiously
only a few moments ago, to begin saying her goodbyes.
She tells me to take care of myself, wishes me luck,
mentions that she may not be here for my graduation,
slips in a slight about a pretty prom dress, preferably red,
and burdens my conscience.
She begins to tell me all her worries about my mother:
she's getting too thin, she look emaciated sometimes you know?
she stresses out too much,
have you seen her skin? she might have arthritis.
My father: he's gained so much weight, his attitude towards help,
he needs to get some help, his anxiety,
you know there exists an AA type thing for obesity,
he refuses help and you know,
your mother got real sullen about this subject too.
Not just about his weight, I know there is more stress
that has nothing to do with you going off to college,
he needs help, sweetie, you know?
My brother: he spends absolutely too much time playing those ....
those games, his hands appear permanently holding a console,
he's gonna have social issues in school, you'll see.
She fails to mention my sister, and looks at me sideways ...
she says she doesn't really know how things are these days between young kids,
boyfriends and girlfriends, but if I'm to have "relations" .... she blushes ...
you know, I should just be careful not just with pregnancy but ...
she goes quiet and shuffles her feet, you know, with diseases.
Um apparently this is a really personal decision to make and she feels she is not one to preach or give anyone advice on when is the "best" time, but ...
you know, just be careful, honey.
She hugs me, unsmiling now, but not quite frowning.
She is pleased with her first goodbye, but I know more is yet to come.
I am left sitting alone on my bed with all her worries mixed with my own.
My own worries heightened by hers and her prodding,
her simple "you know?"s, god enough!!!
I think about all of this without you telling me,
I don't need to hear this from your point of view.
Now I'm overflowing with too much emotion, half of it not even my own.
Music is quietly playing, I wish it were blasting but it has to be subdued.
Why? Because "the show" is on and no one likes "my" music.
So I am left to stew in my thoughts ....
I'd like to go running right now, but it's too dark and too cold.
So I settle for quiet music and literally turning my back on my family while they eat and talk and smile those fake smiles because they all worry about each other and no one says anything to the person they SHOULD be talking to. No, they come to me and spill their worries like sand escaping through fingers.
And I am left coming here, to enjoy the beautiful sound of the clanking keys so fast and furiously
Untitled and undated (#27)
What else does one do when you finish the PSATs an hour a half earlier than everyone? You sleep, normal people would sleep, but nooooooooo, I doodled and wrote poetry for an hour and a half
Sitting, wondering, staring at your face,
your hands move backwards, slowly down.
Enslaving me here until sand runs out,
taking pleasure in my pain and misery.
STOP STARING AT ME!
Your hands have stopped, why?
Just fifteen minutes more and I would've been free.
Hurry, hurry along now little hands,
when is my time up? Ring bell ring,
release me from this internal hell,
allow me my freedom now!
In a trance, you move slowly as ever,
TOO slowly, you must rush
forward in time, allow me my freedom.
Boredom sets in
insanity
I'm talking to a clock!!!
Sitting, wondering, staring at your face,
your hands move backwards, slowly down.
Enslaving me here until sand runs out,
taking pleasure in my pain and misery.
STOP STARING AT ME!
Your hands have stopped, why?
Just fifteen minutes more and I would've been free.
Hurry, hurry along now little hands,
when is my time up? Ring bell ring,
release me from this internal hell,
allow me my freedom now!
In a trance, you move slowly as ever,
TOO slowly, you must rush
forward in time, allow me my freedom.
Boredom sets in
insanity
I'm talking to a clock!!!
How do you do it?
How do you do it?
Everyday I fall in love with you again,
your eyes I am lost in, and you,
you are lost in my thoughts.
Butterflies somersault in my stomach
and set off fireworks
at the mere thought of you,
cliche but you should know it's true.
Eye's opening wide,
knots in my throat,
why does it always feel like the first time?
I could lay with you forever,
you make me feel safe,
melt with every kiss,
I just know I love you.
how do I know?
Why me? Why you? How?
I don't know, so answer me this.
How do you do it?
Everyday I fall in love with you again,
your eyes I am lost in, and you,
you are lost in my thoughts.
Butterflies somersault in my stomach
and set off fireworks
at the mere thought of you,
cliche but you should know it's true.
Eye's opening wide,
knots in my throat,
why does it always feel like the first time?
I could lay with you forever,
you make me feel safe,
melt with every kiss,
I just know I love you.
how do I know?
Why me? Why you? How?
I don't know, so answer me this.
How do you do it?
Finally Quiet (#9)
Silence is beautiful, nothing heard ...
Yet always there remains something that
whispers words softly.
Breathing absent, the Heartbeat gone,
even your Thoughts are gone.
In a blank room, empty, no one else,
just you and the silence;
a light shines, above you angelic choirs
just for you and the silence.
Yet always there remains something that
whispers words softly.
Breathing absent, the Heartbeat gone,
even your Thoughts are gone.
In a blank room, empty, no one else,
just you and the silence;
a light shines, above you angelic choirs
just for you and the silence.
Friday, October 30, 2009
lost
curled up, holding myself, feeling empty.
dejected, cascading warm waters enveloping me,
washing away my sorrow and grief, creating more.
surrounded with comfort, in a womb once more;
surrounded with pain, drowning once more;
despairing attacks of panic, scared
of what? of loss, utter loss
happiness, joy, and content fulfillment
smiles, laughter
no more, I fear, or do I delude myself so?
a smile, so hard to fake, I miss ...
everything I can't have, everything I know I need:
a look, a touch, a laugh, a smile in your eyes
a comforting feeling ... where is it?
weeping, total and complete abandon
succumbing to the hot water, fighting the hot tears
losing both battles, mercilessly pouring out
everything in me, talking to no-one
hoping you hear me, apologies and pleas,
vows heard only by droplets falling
falling, slipping down the drain,
soaked in water, tears, regret, pain, and hope
hope of something else, but washed out
sleepless night, tossing, turning, staining my pillow
with pain, terrifying haunting dreams
trapping me in fetters, waking up in a daze
like a ghost of me, I trudged through a schedule
as in another dream
unable to think of anything else
thinking, thinking, thinking, digging myself in deeper
over-analyzing, letting the tears fall in secret
hidden emotions bared to no-one,
silently pleading, begging for help
to no-one who can hear me
please, please hear me
dejected, cascading warm waters enveloping me,
washing away my sorrow and grief, creating more.
surrounded with comfort, in a womb once more;
surrounded with pain, drowning once more;
despairing attacks of panic, scared
of what? of loss, utter loss
happiness, joy, and content fulfillment
smiles, laughter
no more, I fear, or do I delude myself so?
a smile, so hard to fake, I miss ...
everything I can't have, everything I know I need:
a look, a touch, a laugh, a smile in your eyes
a comforting feeling ... where is it?
weeping, total and complete abandon
succumbing to the hot water, fighting the hot tears
losing both battles, mercilessly pouring out
everything in me, talking to no-one
hoping you hear me, apologies and pleas,
vows heard only by droplets falling
falling, slipping down the drain,
soaked in water, tears, regret, pain, and hope
hope of something else, but washed out
sleepless night, tossing, turning, staining my pillow
with pain, terrifying haunting dreams
trapping me in fetters, waking up in a daze
like a ghost of me, I trudged through a schedule
as in another dream
unable to think of anything else
thinking, thinking, thinking, digging myself in deeper
over-analyzing, letting the tears fall in secret
hidden emotions bared to no-one,
silently pleading, begging for help
to no-one who can hear me
please, please hear me
Thursday, September 10, 2009
frustration
For every verbal jab you take at me,
one tear rolls down.
Unseen, unnoticed.
I want to scream at you too, I wan to hurt you back,
I want to stand up and disrespect you back.
I want to take jabs at your heart too.
Call you ungrateful, call you insolent and lazy,
call you words we both know you're not.
I want to show you how hard this is
I want you to know how I truly feel
How much I need for you to just leave me be
I know what I'm doing.
I know what I need.
Don't ask about my sleep schedule
Don't ask about my work ethic
Don't ask about my mood
Don't ask about my eating habits
I have enough to deal with
Without you taking constant jabs
At me, at him, at us. At me!
Stop it, let me do my work alone
I don't need your jokes
I don't need your input
I don't need your immaturity right now
Just leave me be
one tear rolls down.
Unseen, unnoticed.
I want to scream at you too, I wan to hurt you back,
I want to stand up and disrespect you back.
I want to take jabs at your heart too.
Call you ungrateful, call you insolent and lazy,
call you words we both know you're not.
I want to show you how hard this is
I want you to know how I truly feel
How much I need for you to just leave me be
I know what I'm doing.
I know what I need.
Don't ask about my sleep schedule
Don't ask about my work ethic
Don't ask about my mood
Don't ask about my eating habits
I have enough to deal with
Without you taking constant jabs
At me, at him, at us. At me!
Stop it, let me do my work alone
I don't need your jokes
I don't need your input
I don't need your immaturity right now
Just leave me be
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Adjective Noun Verb, exception
faltering sunlight streaming
lace curtains billowing
vanilla candles ~ wafting
sensual strawberries ... mmm ...
(silky sheets enveloping)
rose...
....petals
............drifting
gently, hands caressing
feather pillows forgotten
increasing steam GATHERING
contented sighs escaping
excited chests heaving
lusciouslipsmeeting
eyes - frantic - rolling
electric.
shocks.
flashing.
gentle fingers exploring
gasping lips -
- parting
sacred meetings
repeating
lace curtains billowing
vanilla candles ~ wafting
sensual strawberries ... mmm ...
(silky sheets enveloping)
rose...
....petals
............drifting
gently, hands caressing
feather pillows forgotten
increasing steam GATHERING
contented sighs escaping
excited chests heaving
lusciouslipsmeeting
eyes - frantic - rolling
electric.
shocks.
flashing.
gentle fingers exploring
gasping lips -
- parting
sacred meetings
repeating
Moondance (inspired by Moondance)
As the moon crawls up into the starry stage
Silent flowers, watching, they bloom
We lazily sleep away the night
Missing out on their nightly romance
Well as we lie together tonight
I see stars dancing in your eyes
You smile and we do our own little dance
Only flowers and moon dancing by
Between the stars and the moon that shine
Such a spectacle to behold
And the flowers that reach up high
they sway, oh, they sway
And when I look at you
I see love dancing in your eyes
I see desire burning so bright
I know I can't hide
Can I stay up to watch my moon dance
with you, my darling?
Can I lay here watching my stars,
with you, my love?
Silent flowers, watching, they bloom
We lazily sleep away the night
Missing out on their nightly romance
Well as we lie together tonight
I see stars dancing in your eyes
You smile and we do our own little dance
Only flowers and moon dancing by
Between the stars and the moon that shine
Such a spectacle to behold
And the flowers that reach up high
they sway, oh, they sway
And when I look at you
I see love dancing in your eyes
I see desire burning so bright
I know I can't hide
Can I stay up to watch my moon dance
with you, my darling?
Can I lay here watching my stars,
with you, my love?
Saturday, August 8, 2009
what started as a sonnet and never became one (#25)
Hello stranger, you've for years been gone
You left quick, no for love you've come to look
A love lost, for no attention was paid
To the burning passion within her heart
Now you return, Eden's garden awaiting
Since Lucifer held no allure
For someone like you, no, you want her back
What makes you think she will still be waiting?
She could belong to someone else
Or all alone, waiting for your love
Don't worry your pretty little head
She will be forever waiting
Until the day you finally return
Return home, return to her
To her arms and in yours she will jump
She will wait forever if she has to
You are always worth it and she will be forever yours
You left quick, no for love you've come to look
A love lost, for no attention was paid
To the burning passion within her heart
Now you return, Eden's garden awaiting
Since Lucifer held no allure
For someone like you, no, you want her back
What makes you think she will still be waiting?
She could belong to someone else
Or all alone, waiting for your love
Don't worry your pretty little head
She will be forever waiting
Until the day you finally return
Return home, return to her
To her arms and in yours she will jump
She will wait forever if she has to
You are always worth it and she will be forever yours
untitled and undated (#21)
If only one day you'd see, but you never will. I am too afraid to let you in, too afraid of being hurt, but longing to be yours.
Open your eyes, I'm no longer scared. See me for me and not the facade you see everyday, see me for the one you love, if only. If only.
Open your eyes, I'm no longer scared. See me for me and not the facade you see everyday, see me for the one you love, if only. If only.
Untitled and undated (#20)
To everything there is a darker side, a side seldom seen by anyone. A side so dark that black coal looks light and the abyss of night seems a pale sight. That side of me that holds those things which ought not be seen, but I find myself longing for you to see this other side of me. If only you'd open your eyes you'd see how my heart aches for you, how my heart breaks when you look away, how I long for those accidental brushes of our hands. I tell you to stop, but I don't mean it. Never stop. Stay with me. Love me before it all fades away. Before your beautiful eyes become no more than dust in the wind. Before your touch transforms to mere memory, swallowed by the tide. Before I forget the sight of your smile. Before it all fades away into the darkest side of me.
Untitled and undated (#19)
I sit here, with you
You know I am here
Yet you don't see
The darker side of me
The side that longs for you
To be with me, for you
To hold me, for you
To see me
The side of me that
Fell for you when
You first loved me
So many years ago
The side that looks at you
With ravenous hunger
In its passionate eyes
Whenever you are near
The side that longs for
Your soft touch and
For to finally love me
The way I love you
You know I am here
Yet you don't see
The darker side of me
The side that longs for you
To be with me, for you
To hold me, for you
To see me
The side of me that
Fell for you when
You first loved me
So many years ago
The side that looks at you
With ravenous hunger
In its passionate eyes
Whenever you are near
The side that longs for
Your soft touch and
For to finally love me
The way I love you
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