Yesterday and today, I bonded with my sister. She asked me to do her hair, she asked me to watch Glee with her. I asked her to read a funny blog I found, I asked her to watch So You Think You Can Dance with me. For the first time in years, I finally felt like we have things in common and that she is growing up ... that she's going to be ok.
For years I have worried that our age difference was too much and that we would never have anything in common and we would never have a working relationship. I see now that the difference between 13 and 19 is a lot smaller than the difference between 10 and 16. For years I have worried that her attitude problems and that her personality would keep her from having friends and keep increasing the distance between us. However, the past two years that I have been away at college have helped my sister grow in terms of maturity and she is a much more relatable character now (even if I still see her as a giant ball of energy with a giant mass of hair always launching itself at me).
Her talent and thirst for the spotlight never cease to amaze me. The girl has joined a performance troop and is rehearsing to put on "9 to 5 the musical," she is taking first place ribbons at swim meets, she is taking piano lessons, and she is taking up karate later this summer. I am impressed at her desire and her talent - the self-confidence it takes to stand up on a stage and bare yourself for criticism is daunting. Three years ago, and even some days now, I would not be able to say that she had the confidence to do so ... but only because she has never had the confidence to be herself off the stage... until now.
For years, she hid behind her fluffed-up afro curtains of ebony hair because of her social awkwardness. I recognized it as my own, but always noted how different it was. While I was almost pathologically desperate to overcome my social awkwardness and learn how to function well in society (without losing my sense of self), my sister seemed almost pathologically determined to remain obstinately socially awkward and dysfunctional. So she hid behind her hair, frumpy clothes, bad jokes, and her over-exuberant personality that she used to try to attract friends...and ended up alienating everyone instead because she was just way too over the top.
Even though she is still the crazy, extremely-energetic, semi-annoying, inquisitive, loving, talkative, super-talented, curious, sometimes-too-empathetic, trusting, naive (in a good way), outgoing, brown-eyed girl with the giant fluff ball of ebony hair .... she is changing.
Now, she's discovered that she can be herself without exaggerating everything and she pulls her hair back in a ponytail so people can see her face, so she can sing better in chorus, so that the audience can see her when she acts with the drama club's productions. She dresses like she wants, comfortably and age-appropriate. Thankfully, that does not mean "slutty" to her (and it also doesn't mean "pink" anymore, she has discovered other colors of clothes). She found reliable friends who accept her and don't try to change her - friends who are really her friends.
I'm happy that she's decided I am one of those friends, someone she can spend time with and share life's joys with, because I want to be a good friend. A friend who will do her hair and teach her funny dives off the diving board and appreciate her talents and share her passions and teach her about life/love/laughter/WWII/cooking/poetry/etiquette/good books and dance to silly songs in the kitchen while making ice cream sundaes.
She is growing up, both physically and mentally, and I can't believe I'm here to witness these changes. I know they happen (as they happened to me and every other adult on this planet ....well not all of them, some people are still immature preteen boys), but I was not prepared to see my sister in a bikini - let alone hear her say that the bikini is too immodest and she does not feel comfortable showing so much skin and that it did not cover her butt. Funny. Also funnier still that she said this while clutching the straps of the bikini top in fear of "falling out."
So she switched into a one-piece and we watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother. The one where I explained awkward sex jokes to my sister ... so basically every episode ...and every joke. But it's ok, because one day she won't ask things like "I forget, what is the difference between an aneurysm and a orgasm?"
For years I have worried that our age difference was too much and that we would never have anything in common and we would never have a working relationship. I see now that the difference between 13 and 19 is a lot smaller than the difference between 10 and 16. For years I have worried that her attitude problems and that her personality would keep her from having friends and keep increasing the distance between us. However, the past two years that I have been away at college have helped my sister grow in terms of maturity and she is a much more relatable character now (even if I still see her as a giant ball of energy with a giant mass of hair always launching itself at me).
Her talent and thirst for the spotlight never cease to amaze me. The girl has joined a performance troop and is rehearsing to put on "9 to 5 the musical," she is taking first place ribbons at swim meets, she is taking piano lessons, and she is taking up karate later this summer. I am impressed at her desire and her talent - the self-confidence it takes to stand up on a stage and bare yourself for criticism is daunting. Three years ago, and even some days now, I would not be able to say that she had the confidence to do so ... but only because she has never had the confidence to be herself off the stage... until now.
For years, she hid behind her fluffed-up afro curtains of ebony hair because of her social awkwardness. I recognized it as my own, but always noted how different it was. While I was almost pathologically desperate to overcome my social awkwardness and learn how to function well in society (without losing my sense of self), my sister seemed almost pathologically determined to remain obstinately socially awkward and dysfunctional. So she hid behind her hair, frumpy clothes, bad jokes, and her over-exuberant personality that she used to try to attract friends...and ended up alienating everyone instead because she was just way too over the top.
Even though she is still the crazy, extremely-energetic, semi-annoying, inquisitive, loving, talkative, super-talented, curious, sometimes-too-empathetic, trusting, naive (in a good way), outgoing, brown-eyed girl with the giant fluff ball of ebony hair .... she is changing.
Now, she's discovered that she can be herself without exaggerating everything and she pulls her hair back in a ponytail so people can see her face, so she can sing better in chorus, so that the audience can see her when she acts with the drama club's productions. She dresses like she wants, comfortably and age-appropriate. Thankfully, that does not mean "slutty" to her (and it also doesn't mean "pink" anymore, she has discovered other colors of clothes). She found reliable friends who accept her and don't try to change her - friends who are really her friends.
I'm happy that she's decided I am one of those friends, someone she can spend time with and share life's joys with, because I want to be a good friend. A friend who will do her hair and teach her funny dives off the diving board and appreciate her talents and share her passions and teach her about life/love/laughter/WWII/cooking/poetry/etiquette/good books and dance to silly songs in the kitchen while making ice cream sundaes.
She is growing up, both physically and mentally, and I can't believe I'm here to witness these changes. I know they happen (as they happened to me and every other adult on this planet ....well not all of them, some people are still immature preteen boys), but I was not prepared to see my sister in a bikini - let alone hear her say that the bikini is too immodest and she does not feel comfortable showing so much skin and that it did not cover her butt. Funny. Also funnier still that she said this while clutching the straps of the bikini top in fear of "falling out."
So she switched into a one-piece and we watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother. The one where I explained awkward sex jokes to my sister ... so basically every episode ...and every joke. But it's ok, because one day she won't ask things like "I forget, what is the difference between an aneurysm and a orgasm?"
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