Friday, June 19, 2009

Aura

When you finally found service,
I jumped for joy and smiled until this very moment.
I slept though the night,
I went through the rest of my day
With "an aura of elation"
as my sweet grandmother described it.
Tidal waves of relief flooded through my being
When I heard your voice again,
Your sweet voice, oh how I'd missed it
So much I missed you.
Knowing you were safe and on your way home,
I took off the necklace yesterday,
Knowing it clashed with my clothes.
I spent the day at the pool
Accompanied by my entire family,
But I could not help looking at my phone
Every hour or so, I wanted it.
I wanted a connection to you nearby ...
My grandmother kept reminding to stop smiling,
That my face would freeze that way.
They wonder why I was feeling so ...
Playful towards my siblings,
Why I cleaned my room without being asked,
Why I washed the dishes for dinner on time instead of at midnight,
Why I consented to so many unusual things,
All the while smiling like a little fool.
With an aura of elation, exuding happiness.
Why?
Because you're back home, nearby, safe.
I'm still smiling, incessantly, sweetly,
Lost in thought, reminiscing about you.
A smile and an aura.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Chick Lit

You know what I noticed yesterday at my favorite used-book store?
There's whole bookcases marked by the genre Chick Lit.
GENRE!!! It's a genre!!! Why?
and besides Chick Lit was the Romance section ...
Guess what? Everything was pink, whole isles of pink covers
pastel pink, hot pink, blinding amounts of pink
with titles like "Better in Bed" and "Cliques and Love"
Meaningless books about meaningless things,
Preppy girls talking about virginity and hot boys
Lip gloss, shopping, hating school, boys, boys, boys.
Those romance books? With the half-naked girls swooning and draped over the arm of those half-naked overly-muscular ape-like men.
No wonder women and girls are deemed less competent than boys and men.
These books are all used and continue to fly off the shelves, why?
Because women and girls really do read this trash and enjoy it,
Delving into stacks of these so-called novels,
frittering away their summers and endless years,
killing off brain-cells, reading these ... I hate to even call them books.
Don't women understand that they can read better books and not lose any femininity?
Being intelligent and learning and enjoying intellectuality is not wrong or unfeminine. Jesus, why? Women have come so far and it is people like these who hold women back.
Why do they even place these "books" next to the science fiction and the mysteries?
Why next to the philosophies of the Dalai Lama?
I don't understand it, so I walk away with "Crime and Punishment,"
"Brave New World," "Vinegar Hill," "Napoleon's Buttons," and "One Heart."

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Four Months

(I know I'm one day early, but I couldn't help myself. It just came to me and I knew I'd lose it if I didn't write it this very moment.)


You've been gone for only a few days,
But already I find it hard, so very hard,
To go through the day-to-day routine.
I can't sleep at night: I'm worried.
I've been having nightmares, bad dreams,
I worry about you, are you hurt?
Please don't be, I pray, each night,
Each time I wake up from these nightmares,
Each time I try to fall back asleep.
I hug the phone and fiddle with the necklace,
Over and over, until I'm again asleep.
Sleeping is futile, but being awake?
Yet a completely different nightmare.
I refuse to take off the necklace,
Thought it may not match my clothes.
I refuse to leave my phone behind,
Though I know you can not call.
I do everything to take my mind off you
But inevitably I come right back you.
I read a book and something reminds me of you.
I watch my favorite show and that damn dancer has your name.
I wash dishes, mow lawns, clean pools, walk Phoebe,
Cook meals, clean rooms, babysit, bathe Phoebe,
write poems not about you that lead to poems about you,
lie in the hammock to stare at the sky and it rains, reminding me of you.
So I try to sleep.
What is this nonsense?
I feel like one of those girls in romance novels,
Too helpless to lead my own life without you,
Losing sleep worrying over you,
trying to do everything to remember you're enjoying yourself.
Don't get me wrong, I've been having fun too.
I've had a pretty good time,these past few days,
But it takes so much focus to get you out of my mind.
Jeez, why is this so hard?
Being apart from you ... I've done this before,
I went months without talking to you before,
so why this now? Why is this so hard on my heart?
How have you managed to take complete hold of my heart and mind?
I miss you. I truly do, I guess that's why I can't sleep,
Why I can't think of anything but you,
Why all those songs make me feel like I'm about to cry.
I miss you.
That simple.
I miss you.

Paper Treasures in Cardboard Trash

(So this lady was at my favorite used-books store and was trying to donate a huge box full of books but they kinda didn't want them, but I looked at this one book and she offered to let me look through the whole box. I got three books for leisure reading and two books that were on my summer reading list. I had a great time today. I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the used-book store ... though ... when do I not? : hehehe )




Sweet Southern woman
Stands in my favorite place,
That old used-book store,
Her cardboard box full,
Laden, with books.
Precious paper tomes.
Smells of the ocean.
Both old and new.
Books never heard of.
Books I had looked for.
Giving them away
to that old used-book store,
But they did not want any
and now three
belong to me.
She had no clue
what precious treasures
She held in her cardboard box
clearly marked Trash.