Random Thoughts inspired by Pandora

I'm listening to Pandora, it usually knows exactly what I need, but for the past months it's been .... well I'm listening to this song and I absolutely hate the song. I can't stand it. So I listen to some others, and they all sound the same, but by the 5th song or so I'm starting to like this kind of song. And why is this??? Because society's music is manipulating me to like their songs!! It's been months of the same ordeal with Pandora and radio stations and music videos in the morning: I hate it, so I change it, hate that one, that one sort of sounds ok and has a good beat, oh no!!!!! My foot is tapping, no no no, bad Ana, resist it. They WANT me to like their style of music, so they do that style over and over again until they brainwash me into liking it. Which is terrible because I (and we as a whole generation of brainwashed people) deserve better!!!!!! I (and we) dont need this trashy, no brainer music that just has a good beat. I mean... at the same time you kind of like it....but inside you know you deserve much better!!! Lyrics like Jason Mraz or that song I've been replaying about 50 times a day and any other song that makes you read between the lines and THINK, but Public Affair by Jessica Simpson? What the hell is that?? I admit I listen to it and ... I kind of like it...BUT STILL!!!! People make out for half of the video, and the rest of the songs mention the phrase "all night long" at least in one stanza of their music. It just drives me crazy and yet ... it's so catchy.... Dave Matthews Band would be disappointed in me for admitting this and for it being true.... (they're true musicians music, just so you know)

By the way, I have a feeling that the "5 second rule" doesnt quite work on the rug.

Anyways, WHERE IS THE MUSIC THAT MAKES YOU THINK? CHANGES YOUR MOOD? It's so rare now, defeated and shadowed by "songs with good beats that are surprisingly addicting but we're trying to resist it. Or at least I am"

Chocolate craving time: I am calming my chocolate cravings with protein bars, actually one protein bar that I snuck from the pantry while my dad wasn't looking, it's covered in chocolate and is very delicious. This is the third one I've snuck in three days, the wrappers in my desk-drawer smell good. They smell oh so faintly of chocolate. I wouldn't have to sneak them if there was chocolate in this house, or if I felt like dealing with him knowing I'm eating what's become known as "his" food. I'm a hormonally-imbalanced pms-ing teenage girl. I. Need. Chocolate. and I will get it, don't bother me with the consequences. It makes me feel better, and cravings need to be assuaged, otherwise one begins to feel all sorts of awful.

There are the only two things I've ever craved for: chocolate and chinese food. I know people say they get cravings for certain foods and feel like they must eat them, but they're so diverse with their cravings, making me think that they just "want" them instead of "craving" them. I know when I crave chocolate because it's a physical feeling as well as mental. I feel kind of sick, like I was before I unwrapped that precious protein bar and smelled the chocolate... yummy chocolate... now I'm happy again. Until a few days from now, then all the chocolate in the world won't fix anything and Morgana help those who dare oppose me or cross me. I admit I'm not the nicest person during those days, if only people had more tact and just let me be. There are days during the month when I don't want to socialize and that should be a perfectly good reason for me not to fake politeness when I'm fighting some of the worst discomfort unknown to men.