Undo It

Everything is always fine before anything changes, and her arrival changed everything. As soon as she stepped off that plane I wasn't happy anymore, I was scrutinized and made to suffer those little snide underhanded comments. Grandmothers are supposed to give you extra love and bend the rules for you but all I hear is....

Too skinny, not eating enough, eating too much, you don't eat that like that, showering too long, singing too loud, straightening that hair incorrectly, sleeping too much, cooking that wrong, burning this, not cooked enough, can't walk barefoot, wearing the wrong shoes, sit up straight, wear some make-up, god not like that, watching too much tv, do something constructive, watch something "better," don't listen to that kind of music, don't dance like that, don't eat so fast, why do you eat so slow, talk to me more, I don't feel like talking, go to sleep, stay up and listen to me talk to you....

It's been less than 48 hours, how can she be this way? I can't do anything right, then when I try to fix it I do it incorrectly and I get in trouble. She was here when I came home yesterday, that's right, I told her and she shot me down. Now I'm stuck at home, should be at a graduation party, after spending three hours at graduation practice I wish I could unwind but all I get is more instructions and orders. Do this, stay here, make dinner, don't talk to me....

Yet this is all so much better than being in the car with dear daddy all day. He's been giving me the silent treatment, I prefer it, it's better this way. This way I'm alone in the house, surrounded by siblings, without him.

I wish I could see you, I need you now, I need the one person who could make this better